They all have that One Friend….

After the numerous sleepovers our daughter has had there is always that one friend that you would just wish she would stop inviting back. I know that sounds absolutely horrible. I feel like a horrible mom for saying that. I want my daughter to be happy. I want her to have friends and people that she can hang out with. I want her to have long lasting friendships that will help carry her through life. But, I don’t want her to have this friend.

I understand that there is drama between girls. I am a girl so I have been there and done that. But the amount of drama this one sleepover had was just insane. Especially for her age.

Mikayla and Derik are really close. They play very well together. They share. They imagine and create. The bond they have is amazing and I hope they will always have it.  When this friend came over to spend the night their (Mikayla and Derik) bond was gone. This friend was bossy, rude, rolled her eyes at everything, refused to play anything that Mikayla wanted to play, refused to let Derik anywhere near what she was playing and made my kids miserable. She refused to play with the Wii, we were playing board games with Derik and she refused to do that. She actually copped an attitude with me over what we were having for dinner. I told her that I make 1 meal a night and if she didn’t like it then there was peanut butter and jelly in the cupboard and to help herself (I am sure that sounds mean but by this time she already made Derik cry twice and she had only been there for  45 mins). We were having pizza even. I had 3 different kinds so there was plenty to chose from. She ended up eating the pizza, by the way. Two slices. This friend was not one I wanted my daughter hanging out with. We are teaching Mikayla respect,to be nice to others and to be grateful for what is provided to her. Mikayla ended up giving in and did whatever she wanted. We watched Mikayla turn against her brother. She was mean and yelled all because she was trying to make this friend happy. My kids were more sad with this friend over than ever. Having a friend over is supposed to be fun, happy and exciting.

Towards the end of the night Mikayla was finally tired of her crap. She left her in her room and came to try to play with Derik. Unfortunately, because they had yelled at him and made him cry so many times by then his response was as he ran into his dad’s arms was, “no, you are mean to me and I don’t want to play with you.” I saw her heartbreak. She went back to her room to sit there with this friend and be bored.

The next day was constant fighting with the girls. Over what to do, what the rules were, which game to play, which show to watch, over who won jenga. It was a nightmare! I was to the point of actually outloud counting down the hours until it was time for her to leave. Every fight with both girls standing right there, I would look at Mikayla and say 3 more hours and then she leaves, 2 more hours and she is gone, etc. When she finally left we sat down with Mikayla and told her that this friend is not allowed to come over and spend the night. Some friends are just better off as at school friends. We talked with her about how she treated Derik and that she was going to have to make up for that (they did make up that weekend, they are back to normal 🙂 ).

I just can’t believe how some kids are being raised. I know everyone parents differently and that is not the problem here. This girl was completely disrespectful to my daughter, my son, my home…my entire family. I would never want my daughter or son to treat anyone that way. And we are doing our best to make sure that doesn’t happen. Kids need to be taught right from wrong, they need to be taught manners and how to respect others. They are not born knowing. That’s why, we, as parents are here to teach them. Your way of teaching may be different than mine but the main goal is the same. To raise respectful, well mannered, considerate children not bullies. Be there for your kids, when you see them being mean or disrespectful call them out on it. Right then and there. It might embarrass them and you might have people who will look at you. But guess what? The people staring at you for parenting your kid are thanking you in their minds. If you embarrass your kid do not apologize, they shouldn’t have been acting that way in the first place; and hopefully they won’t act that way again.

The main goal is to be there for your kids. To teach them and to be the best mom you can be!

 

5 Things your children will never notice or care about…

Every post deserves an introduction. However, I think this one pretty much introduce itself in the title. 5 Things Your Children will Never Notice or Care About.

1.Your kids are never going to notice how “fat” you are.                                                 This is a huge deal to women. It hits me hard. We are always feeling like we are being judged. Like we do not have the right clothes on or that we are not as skinny as the Jones’s. Well, your kids are never going to notice how fat you are. What they are going to see is how much you love them. How much time you spend with them. Playing and interacting. Teaching them the ins and outs of the world to the best of your ability. They do not care if you weigh 110 pounds or if you weigh 250 pounds. They do care about your attention and about you being there for them. So, stop worrying about how fat you look standing next to your child’s best friend’s mom and just focus on why you are here. You are here for them, make them smile by showing up.

2. Your kids do not care how much money you make.                                                     It is not about the amount of money. I know we all want our kids to have everything that we never did. Or everything they want because we feel some form of failure because of something that happened. Mine was my divorce. My divorce was warranted and happened for the right reasons. It also happened 2 months before Christmas. I did not have the money to buy the gifts my kids saw on TV. I was buying the B1G1 toys from Walgreens every 2 weeks after I got paid because I could get 4 toys for $20-$30. This absolutely killed me inside to not be able to get the toys they wanted. Christmas morning came and I was a wreck. I was crying and just couldn’t believe how much I felt like I failed them. My kids came out and were so excited that Santa came even though we had just moved into our apartment (they were a little worried about him not being able to find us 🙂 ). They torn open the gifts and thanked me for each one as they did it. They did not complain about what they didn’t get. My tears of failure turned into tears of happiness and gratefulness for my children. They brought this amazing glow that morning that I was so afraid was gone. We spent that morning playing with all their new toys. It was perfect.                                                                                               Moral of the story, money’s not everything. They do not care how much you make a year. They do care about what you do with them. That being a hard financial time in my life, my kids were still there and still looked up to me. Money or no money. Be there to play with them.

3. Your kids do not care what brand of clothes you wear.                                               This is another one that hit me pretty good. Being a stay at home mom I do not do my makeup every day. I don’t style my hair. And quite honestly I live in my yoga pants. Any time we are getting ready to head out the door, whether it is a school function or just over to a family member’s house for dinner my daughter is always telling me how fine I look and to stop wearing the makeup because no one cares. You know what? No one does care. I care, for very stupid reasons. I care. The reasoning for this is because of the judgement we pass on to other women and moms we meet in our lives. Instead of building each mother up to help them be the best that they can be, we just tear each other down. Always trying to one up the other moms. Well, your kids do not care about your internal competition with so-so’s mom. They care that you showed up to that spelling bee or basketball game. They care that you sat out in the freezing rain to watch them play football. That is what they will brag about to their friends. How great of a mom you were and how much you supported them. Not how you missed their recital because you needed to get your hair re done and a manicure before you saw the other moms. I am not saying that every mom deserves to be pampered because we do. We busts our butts for our family, however there is a time and a place where that matters. Missing an important event in your child’s life is not the time.

4. Your kids are never going to notice how clean the house is. Or how long it took you to clean it. Here’s a wake up call coming from a clean freak & Norwex Consultant….Your house will NEVER be clean while you still have kids living at home. Give up! Now, I am not saying to let your home turn into a dump but instead of staying in on that beautiful day to clean, go outside with them. Take them to the park or the zoo. The dishes and dirty floors will still be there once they go to sleep. Hell, they will even be there the next day! Don’t waste every minute of  your day trying to keep your house spotless. Your kids do not care that the house is clean and the floors are waxed. They do care about the fact you played catch with them or took them to the batting cages. Don’t forget to stop and cherish your time with your kids. Before you know it they will be gone and you will be regretting your time that you lost.

5. Your kids do not care about what is on your phone or the latest on Facebook. PUT THE PHONE DOWN!! Seriously, we wonder why kids do nothing but play video games and tablets all day long it’s because they either see us doing it or we are doing it so they need to find something else to do. Stop letting the social media world run your life. Play a card or board game with your kids. Interact with them. They really don’t care about your social media world and frankly are probably disgusted with the fact that your phone comes before interacting with them. Just put the damn thing down and enjoy your family.

Based off from these points we just all need to remember that we need to be there for our kids. We need to interact with them. Teach them the ins and outs and right and wrong. Children are not materialistic unless we raise them that way. Show your children the value of love, support, and connection by playing that board game or sitting in the rain to watch their game. They need you more than you need any of the items listed above. Be the best mom you can be for them!

 

Yes, I hear my kids whining and you will thank me for it later!

Yes, I hear my kids whining and no I do not care.

As far as whining goes, there is no way that they get the attention they want from. Yes, everyone looking at me at the grocery store, I DO hear my child whining but I am not giving in to my 3 year old’s demands. That’s not how this works. He does not rule this relationship. I am sorry for the inconvenience that it caused you for that minute we were in the same aisle but you will thank me later when my kid(s) are not the ones robbing you in the parking lot. If we as parents can be there for our kids more and teach them that they are not the king of everything I think that could fix a lot of the adolescent problems we have today. Our society  does not give parents enough time to be with our kids and teach our kids right from wrong. Continue reading Yes, I hear my kids whining and you will thank me for it later!

How being a SAHM changed my kids

Becoming a SAHM has always been a dream for me. I did enjoy the corporate world and being around adults to talk to but home with my kids is where I always wanted to be. Since I started out as a corporate mom I had NO idea how deciding to stay home would change my kids. Our oldest was in kindergarten so she was gone at school and her change wasn’t as obvious as our youngest. Derik had just turned 2 in September and I became a SAHM in February. We thought we were doing the right thing for both of our kids by having me at home so I could help the kids wherever it was needed. So when this finally happened Continue reading How being a SAHM changed my kids

You ARE doing your best!

I know I cant be the only mom (parent) out there who has those break down moments when you just feel like you are failing completely. Dinner is burnt, your youngest wont stop crying, your oldest is now late for girl scouts, all while your head is pounding so loudly it makes you see spots. Yes, these days suck.  You are not alone!! We all have those moment and we just need to remember that no parent is perfect, no child is perfect, and there is nothing in this world that is worth making you feel like that. Dinner is burnt Continue reading You ARE doing your best!

If they would just LISTEN!!!

So, I know that all mom’s have been there. You tell your child 20 times to do something and they don’t but when you finally break down and raise your voice they don’t understand why in the world you are yelling. If you haven’t been there because your child(ren) are too young, just wait, you will be. I never wanted to be that mom who just yelled all the time. I wanted to be that ‘happy all the time’, ‘always cheerful’, ‘help out wherever they need’, ‘yeah, let’s be best friends’ type mom. There are days that I am that mom, that they allow me to be that mom. However, I have come to realize when they are young and learning to be independent, you can’t always be their best friend. When I say that I am not referring to the ‘you can never come to me with your problems’ aspect. I am referring to the ‘they need to learn to be independent and responsible’ aspect. There are times when my 6 year old breaks my heart but I know in the long run she will thank me and be grateful for the lessons she has learned. Continue reading If they would just LISTEN!!!

Hello world!

Welcome to Best Mom I Can Be! Here is a little bit about my family and why I decided to have a blog.

My husband, Mike and just got married Feb 6th, 2016. I had 2 children from a previous marriage but he doesn’t look at them that way. They are his and claims them as his (I found the right man! Few bumps along the way but I found him. 🙂 ).  Our oldest daughter, Mikayla is 6 and our son, Derik is 3. We are hoping for one more to add to our family in the very near future. I was a “corporate mom” for 5 years and in February of 2015 we decided that it was time for a change. I was very unhappy where I was and wanted to be there more for our children. Mikayla was struggling with kindergarten (I know!! It is crazy to think your child could fail kindergarten! we will discuss this in length at a later date) and I wanted to be there more for her and for Derik. So, I decided to open a daycare in my home. As of March 2nd I have been fully operational for a year. This job change was drastic for us. We used to live very comfortably and making this change was a huge cut in our income. But we felt that this change would be what was best for our family. We wanted to be there more for our children. With this change comes with additional changes, a HUGE one being budgeting!! I decided to start this blog because I have had numerous people ask me “How do you do it?” ” How do you make 30 meals under $200?” ” How do you have the time to make dinner while watching 6 kids everyday?” The exclamations also helped this decision. 🙂 People walking in saying how great dinner smells & their surprise when I tell them we spend 1 day making dinners for the whole next month, they are in shock and want to know how they can do the same.  They want to know how we have budgeted, meal planned, and how we make it all happen while our kids are still getting fun and exciting experiences. Well, from this Stay at Home Mom to you, it is possible to make 30 family sized dinners for a family of 4 for $200. Stay tuned for tips on budgeting, meal planning and more!

Just a little snap shot of our wonderful family & my parents 🙂

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