How being a SAHM changed my kids

Becoming a SAHM has always been a dream for me. I did enjoy the corporate world and being around adults to talk to but home with my kids is where I always wanted to be. Since I started out as a corporate mom I had NO idea how deciding to stay home would change my kids. Our oldest was in kindergarten so she was gone at school and her change wasn’t as obvious as our youngest. Derik had just turned 2 in September and I became a SAHM in February. We thought we were doing the right thing for both of our kids by having me at home so I could help the kids wherever it was needed. So when this finally happened I can honestly admit that maybe coddled my kids too much. And because of this it had a negative effect on them. My well behaved, sweet, helpful, independent little boy turned into a WILD child!! I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. He was always a momma’s boy but wow did that increase. He started whining, went backwards in the potty training progress we had made, and started to dislike any other kid(s) that would come near him. With me being home and running a daycare with kids his age and younger for the last year I started doing things in bulk. I would line them all up at once and just go down the line and put on shoes, coats, hats etc. It wasn’t until my mom called me out one day on why my now 3 1/2 yr old son could not put his own Velcro tennis shoes on. I just looked at her dumbfounded. It didn’t even occur to me that he couldn’t put his own shoes on. That’s when I realized that it wasn’t that he couldn’t put them on but that he was playing me and always waiting until the last minute so I would do it for him. My once independent child was playing my time (and stress levels) and what we needed to get done so he didn’t have to do anything himself. Something had to change. Now I make sure to give him plenty of time to get his own shoes on. I start taking things away when he refuses and throws temper tantrums. Once all of his “favorite” things are gone and I have gone out to the car (for dramatic effect) he will get his shoes on. He will still play the card that he can’t do anything himself just to see what will get done for him but luckily that is changing. Score 1 for Mom!

My son chose to not play with the other kids like he used to and resorted to this whining which I never tolerated. I am a big advocate of “Use your words” and when they don’t I turn around and walk away. He caught onto that one real quick. As far as not playing with other kids I think its hard for him. This is his home and for these other kids to come in and want to play with all of his things is difficult to understand (he does have his own room so he can take his things upstairs but up there he is alone). So to help both of us we have signed him up for preschool 3 days a week. I realized that I am home all day and that I do teach a preschool program but he is very smart for his age and is easily bored with what I am trying to teach everyone. The hope is other than learning and getting ready for kindergarten that he will regain his independence and learn to play with others again. He is a great sharer when he does play. Most of the time the fight is that they (other kids) don’t know how to play the way he does. He has an awesome imagination that just runs wild and creates so many fun things to do. The others are more destroyer of things instead of playing with them (As the provider I am working on the imagination but it is a difficult task). Now days he just wants to be alone unless his sister is home. They play great together (which I am also thankful for)! I have had to learn to distance myself in a way. Instead of getting to be mom all the time I have had to learn (or try to learn) to be a daycare provider to him. It is hard for both of us on a daily basis but with this awesome preschool that we have him signed up for I am hopeful that my smart, independent, fun & happy child will be back. And I can go back to being the best mom I can be! 🙂




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