They all have that One Friend….

After the numerous sleepovers our daughter has had there is always that one friend that you would just wish she would stop inviting back. I know that sounds absolutely horrible. I feel like a horrible mom for saying that. I want my daughter to be happy. I want her to have friends and people that she can hang out with. I want her to have long lasting friendships that will help carry her through life. But, I don’t want her to have this friend.

I understand that there is drama between girls. I am a girl so I have been there and done that. But the amount of drama this one sleepover had was just insane. Especially for her age.

Mikayla and Derik are really close. They play very well together. They share. They imagine and create. The bond they have is amazing and I hope they will always have it.  When this friend came over to spend the night their (Mikayla and Derik) bond was gone. This friend was bossy, rude, rolled her eyes at everything, refused to play anything that Mikayla wanted to play, refused to let Derik anywhere near what she was playing and made my kids miserable. She refused to play with the Wii, we were playing board games with Derik and she refused to do that. She actually copped an attitude with me over what we were having for dinner. I told her that I make 1 meal a night and if she didn’t like it then there was peanut butter and jelly in the cupboard and to help herself (I am sure that sounds mean but by this time she already made Derik cry twice and she had only been there for  45 mins). We were having pizza even. I had 3 different kinds so there was plenty to chose from. She ended up eating the pizza, by the way. Two slices. This friend was not one I wanted my daughter hanging out with. We are teaching Mikayla respect,to be nice to others and to be grateful for what is provided to her. Mikayla ended up giving in and did whatever she wanted. We watched Mikayla turn against her brother. She was mean and yelled all because she was trying to make this friend happy. My kids were more sad with this friend over than ever. Having a friend over is supposed to be fun, happy and exciting.

Towards the end of the night Mikayla was finally tired of her crap. She left her in her room and came to try to play with Derik. Unfortunately, because they had yelled at him and made him cry so many times by then his response was as he ran into his dad’s arms was, “no, you are mean to me and I don’t want to play with you.” I saw her heartbreak. She went back to her room to sit there with this friend and be bored.

The next day was constant fighting with the girls. Over what to do, what the rules were, which game to play, which show to watch, over who won jenga. It was a nightmare! I was to the point of actually outloud counting down the hours until it was time for her to leave. Every fight with both girls standing right there, I would look at Mikayla and say 3 more hours and then she leaves, 2 more hours and she is gone, etc. When she finally left we sat down with Mikayla and told her that this friend is not allowed to come over and spend the night. Some friends are just better off as at school friends. We talked with her about how she treated Derik and that she was going to have to make up for that (they did make up that weekend, they are back to normal 🙂 ).

I just can’t believe how some kids are being raised. I know everyone parents differently and that is not the problem here. This girl was completely disrespectful to my daughter, my son, my home…my entire family. I would never want my daughter or son to treat anyone that way. And we are doing our best to make sure that doesn’t happen. Kids need to be taught right from wrong, they need to be taught manners and how to respect others. They are not born knowing. That’s why, we, as parents are here to teach them. Your way of teaching may be different than mine but the main goal is the same. To raise respectful, well mannered, considerate children not bullies. Be there for your kids, when you see them being mean or disrespectful call them out on it. Right then and there. It might embarrass them and you might have people who will look at you. But guess what? The people staring at you for parenting your kid are thanking you in their minds. If you embarrass your kid do not apologize, they shouldn’t have been acting that way in the first place; and hopefully they won’t act that way again.

The main goal is to be there for your kids. To teach them and to be the best mom you can be!

 

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